The ups and downs of marriage

Published 12:41 pm Wednesday, June 27, 2018

On June 28, my husband Charles and I will be married 60 years. I always ask myself where the time went. I remember when I was a young bride and I would sit around with my married girlfriends and we would discuss our husbands and the best ways to handle them. One of the ladies gave us advice on how she handled her husband when she wanted him to do something. Since it worked for her I figured it would work for me so I decided to try it on my husband. Well it didn’t work with mine, he hit the ceiling so back to the drawing board. I told my friends what happened and they laughed.

Another friend told me to forget what the first friend said and to try this. She said when she got angry with her husband she would break things and start acting crazy. I figured what the heck, I’m going to try it. I waited for Charles to make me angry and true to form, he didn’t disappoint. I started throwing things and breaking things and acting crazy. He just looked at me and said you can break anything you wish but you will have to spend your money to replace it. What! I was not going to spend my hard earned money to replace something that I had no business breaking in the first place so I decided it was time to stop taking friends’ advice and figure out what works for me and my marriage. Sometimes when you turn to other people for marital advice it can be a terrible mistake because every marriage is different. What works for you may not work for me but that doesn’t mean mine or your marriage is any better or any worse, it just means it’s different so it is handled differently. Anyone that is married knows it will consist of good times and bad times but prayerfully the good times will outweigh the bad. Mine definitely outweigh the bad because I married Charles three times: first our church wedding, second our 25th anniversary and the last time was for our 50th anniversary; I told him that’s enough, no more weddings.

When my husband and I are having our good times it is the best thing in the world. I always say to him, where did I get you from and he answers from “Morris High.” I ask, can I send you back and he says I’m here to stay. I wouldn’t have it any other way. The thing that attracted me to my husband is his strength. He is a strong man with a mind of his own. The one thing that I love about him also makes me want to strangle him at times.

Recently I was talking to one of my friends and she told me some of the girls were divorced or widowed. She asked me how I managed to hang on for so long. I told her that I pray and I pick my battles wisely. I have learned when to be quiet and when to come out like a she-devil and it works for our relationship. Be blessed in Jesus name.

Mary Simmons can be reached at marysimmons@